nocando - 14-9-2012 at 12:11 AM
Two Irishmen go into a pet shop.
"We'll be havin' four of dem dare budgerigars!" says Seamus
"Dat's right!" says Paddy, "Dose four dare, dey look nice 'n fit!"
So the petshop owner puts the four budgies in a little box and Seamus and Paddy set off in their van.
"Oi've bin lookin' forward to doin' dis ALL week," said Seamus, very excitedly.
"Me too!" agrees Paddy, "Me too!"
Eventually they get to the top of a huge cliff and Seamus parks the van.
"Say, dis looks a grand place!" says Seamus.
"It does dat!" agrees Paddy, looking down the 1000ft drop. "Well, dis is it!" Seamus shouts in excitement, as he takes two of the little budgies out
of the box, places one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as Seamus plummets all the way to the bottom, where he crashes to the
ground, stone dead.
"Fook that for a game......" says Paddy with a frown, peering over the edge and shaking his head. "Dis budgie jumping looks too fookin' dangerous to
me....."
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL......
Just as Paddy turns to go, Gerry turns up with another box.
"Hey Paddy!" shouts Gerry, "I've always wanted to troy dis! Watch!! "
With that, he takes a chicken out of the box, holds onto it's legs and he too jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as Gerry goes crashing to the
ground, where he lies next to Seamus, stone dead.
"Fook that too....." says Paddy sadly, "Oi don't reckon dat hengliding is all it's cracked up to be either......"
AND THEN.......
Murphy turns up. He also has a box.
"Hey Paddy!" he calls, "D'ya want to see what oi've got here?" Paddy peers inside the box to find a large green parrot.
"Now Murphy, yer not about to troy gliding or budgie jumping wi dat dare ting,now are you?"
"Corse not!" says Murphy producing a large shot gun. "D'ya tink oi'm stupid Paddy? Now see here!"
With that he throws the parrot off the cliff and runs off the edge of the cliff after it, firing at it with his shotgun!
Moments later, he too lies dead on the ground, next to Seamus and Gerry.
"Fook dat......" says Paddy. "First Seamus wid his budgie jumpin, den Gerry wid his hengliding
and now Murphy wid his fookin parrotshooting!
John Holgate - 14-9-2012 at 12:32 AM
Dats fookin funny!
cheezycheese - 14-9-2012 at 04:11 AM
for fooS-P-A-M-L-I-N-K-s sake....
cheezycheese - 14-9-2012 at 04:22 AM
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6' 2",
strong as a longhorn, and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap
tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of
working: the West Texas Sheriff's Department.
After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him
into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot.
So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call,
an "Attitude Suitability Test", that you must take before you can be
accepted. We just don't let anyone carry our badge, son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief
said, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists,
six Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" queried the applicant.
"Great attitude. You pass," said the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?
cheezycheese - 14-9-2012 at 04:22 AM
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.... :ticking:
bobalooie57 - 14-9-2012 at 05:02 AM
20 DOLLARS
On their wedding night the young bride approached the new husband, and asked him for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.
In his highly aroused state, he readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love for the next 40 years. He complied with her
requests, thinking it was a cute way for her to "earn" money for new clothes, accessories, etc.
Arriving home at noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. In the next few minutes he explained that his company
was downsizing, that he had lost his job, and because he was 59, wasn't likely to find a new one, so they were financially ruined.
Calmly his wife handed him a bank book that showed 40 years of steady deposits and interest totalling a million dollars. Then she showed him
certificates of deposit issued by the bank totalling 2 million dollars, and informed him that they were the largest shareholders in their local bank.
She explained that for forty years she had 'charged' him for sex, her savings and investments had multiplied, and this was the result. Faced with the
evidence of over 3 million in investments, the husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally blurted out,"If I had known that was what
you were doing with our "love" money, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him!
I know, I didn't see that coming either. I guess men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut! Women are like phones, they like to be touched,
held and talked to often, but push the wrong button and you're disconnected!
erratic winds - 14-9-2012 at 05:22 AM
I personally prefer humor that doesn't demean anyone for the color of their skin, or their religious or political views. Not cool, cheez.
snowspider - 14-9-2012 at 06:14 AM
Jeez cheez that was brutal ,funny ,but brutal. e.w in this part of the country its pretty hard to find someone who does not have a direct connection
to the events of 9/11 so arround here your not likely to find much sensitivity to the plight of religious fanatics , myself included.
mougl - 14-9-2012 at 07:38 AM
L-O-fookinL
soliver - 14-9-2012 at 09:38 AM
nocando
I love the Irish joke,... but what does the term budgie translate to? It's not a word I hear state side... Is it a hamster, gerbil, rabbit???
Ever hear of the Agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac,... he stayed up all night wondering if there was really a DOG
snowspider - 14-9-2012 at 11:14 AM
budgie = a little parakeet like bird ?
shaggs2riches - 14-9-2012 at 04:19 PM
If Barbie is so popular, how come you have to buy her friends?
John Holgate - 14-9-2012 at 05:12 PM
I hope my attachment works....Budgie = Budgeriegar.
Not to be confused with 'Budgie Smugglers' 
noomi - 28-9-2012 at 03:29 AM
BMK FRANKENBUGGY: PL comp. XR+ front fork and downtube, VTT rails and seat, PL bigfoot xtra wide back axle, all on barrows
I enjoy being moved by that which cannot be seen.
She blogs about scrapbooking,... what a nerd.
________________
http://www.pass4sure.org/Adobe/9A0-146.html
http://www.cwnp.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Certified_Wireless_Network_Admi...
http://www.amazon.com/CWNA-Certified-Wireless-Administrator-...