I have been reading a lot of Ben Franklins writings recently and not to make light of the recent news of AJ, i thought this would provide a smile and a laugh below: Please enjoy and this was written in 1781....somethings never change

Scott

PS Just skim over the french in the beginning- this is a letter written to the Scholars of his time explaining that their fasination with "academic work" was lacking in the benefits of mankind and his idea might be a little better for mankind. Challenge yourself to read it promise you will laugh


Letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels
An Electronic Edition
Benjamin Franklin 1706-1790
Original Source: Benjamin Franklin, "Letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels" In Franklin, Benjamin. The Bagatelles from Passy. Ed. Lopez, Claude A. New York: Eakins Press. 1967

Copyright 2005. This text is freely available provided the text is distributed with the header information provided.

Full Colophon Information
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To the Royal Academy of * * * * GENTLEMEN,
I Have perused your late mathematical Prize Question, proposed in lieu of one in Natural Philosophy, for the ensuing year, viz. "Une figure quelconque donnée, on demande d'y inscrire le plus grand nombre de fois possible une autre figure plus-petite quelconque, qui est aussi donnée". I was glad to find by these following Words, "l'Académie a jugee que cette découverte, en étendant les bornes de nos connoissances, ne seroit pas sans UTILITE", that you esteem Utility an essential Point in your Enquiries, which has not always been the case with all Academies; and I conclude therefore that you have given this Question instead of a philosophical, or as the Learned express it, a physical one, because you could not at the time think of a physical one that promis'd greater Utility. 2.


Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. 3.


That the permitting this Air to escape and mix with the Atmosphere, is usually offensive to the Company, from the fetid Smell that accompanies it. 4.


That all well-bred People therefore, to avoid giving such Offence, forcibly restrain the Efforts of Nature to discharge that Wind. 5.


That so retain'd contrary to Nature, it not only gives frequently great present Pain, but occasions future Diseases, such as habitual Cholics, Ruptures, Tympanies, &c. often destructive of the Constitution, & sometimes of Life itself. 6.


Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in blowing their Noses. 7.


My Prize Question therefore should be, To discover some Drug wholesome & not disagreable, to be mix'd with our common Food, or Sauces, that shall render the natural Discharges of Wind from our Bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreable as Perfumes. 8.


That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed. But as there are many to whom an entire Vegetable Diet would be inconvenient, and as a little Quick-Lime thrown into a Jakes will correct the amazing Quantity of fetid Air arising from the vast Mass of putrid Matter contain'd in such Places, and render it rather pleasing to the Smell, who knows but that a little Powder of Lime (or some other thing equivalent) taken in our Food, or perhaps a Glass of Limewater drank at Dinner, may have the same Effect on the Air produc'd in and issuing from our Bowels? This is worth the Experiment. Certain it is also that we have the Power of changing by slight Means the Smell of another Discharge, that of our Water. A few Stems of Asparagus eaten, shall give our Urine a disagreable Odour; and a Pill of Turpentine no bigger than a Pea, shall bestow on it the pleasing Smell of Violets. And why should it be thought more impossible in Nature, to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water? 9.


For the Encouragement of this Enquiry, (from the immortal Honour to be reasonably expected by the Inventor) let it be considered of how small Importance to Mankind, or to how small a Part of Mankind have been useful those Discoveries in Science that have heretofore made Philosophers famous. Are there twenty Men in Europe at this Day, the happier, or even the easier, for any Knowledge they have picS-P-A-M-L-I-N-K-d out of Aristotle? What Comfort can the Vortices of Descartes give to a Man who has Whirlwinds in his Bowels! The Knowledge of Newton's mutual Attraction of the Particles of Matter, can it afford Ease to him who is racS-P-A-M-L-I-N-K-d by their mutual Repulsion, and the cruel Distensions it occasions? The Pleasure arising to a few Philosophers, from seeing, a few Times in their Life, the Threads of Light untwisted, and separated by the Newtonian Prism into seven Colours, can it be compared with the Ease and Comfort every Man living might feel seven times a Day, by discharging freely the Wind from his Bowels? Especially if it be converted into a Perfume: For the Pleasures of one Sense being little inferior to those of another, instead of pleasing the Sight he might delight the Smell of those about him, & make Numbers happy, which to a benevolent Mind must afford infinite Satisfaction. The generous Soul, who now endeavours to find out whether the Friends he entertains like best Claret or Burgundy, Champagne or Madeira, would then enquire also whether they chose Musk or Lilly, Rose or Bergamot, and provide accordingly. And surely such a Liberty of Expressing one's Scent-iments, and pleasing one another, is of infinitely more Importance to human Happiness than that Liberty of the Press, or of abusing one another, which the English are so ready to fight & die for. — In short, this Invention, if compleated, would be, as Bacon expresses it, bringing Philosophy home to Mens Business and Bosoms. And I cannot but conclude, that in Comparison therewith, for universal and continual UTILITY, the Science of the Philosophers abovementioned, even with the Addition, Gentlemen, of your "Figure quelconque" and the Figures inscrib'd in it, are, all together, scarcely worth a FART-HING. 10.

Come on guys- 30 views and no comments........ I dont understand.... here is a little excerpt- what do you think he is talking about?

""""""""Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, and through you, if you approve it, for the serious Enquiry of learned Physicians, Chemists, &c. of this enlightened Age. It is universally well known, That in digesting our common Food, there is created or produced in the Bowels of human Creatures, a great Quantity of Wind. ............That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these Considerations. That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate"""""""""

Of course, Ben, who was enamoured with the French, was busting on the Royal Academy of Brussels(Belgium),the two of which were notorious for their antipathy toward each other. I think he was prodding them to 'unstuff themselves' by making a more practical question, instead of an obscure mathematical puzzle, interesting to only the scholarly and relatively useless in the every day world. That he used the premise of developing "Beano" proves that he was well ahead of his time. :duh:

Oh yeah, and history tells us that he liked to fly kites!

good read, i just hate typing on my phone lol

Next time I have a "Report-Out" at work when discussing the findings of a meeting, I may just embrace the meaning of Bens "Report..." :cool2:

(" ...and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed.")

:moon: salute

to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water. Wiser words might never have been spoken.

Quote:

Originally posted by BeamerBob to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water. Wiser words might never have been spoken.

....Bobby knows of which he speaks....I stayed in the same room with him at JIBE. He doesn't need an inflat-o-matic on low wind days with his Arcs!

....Ok. Maybe it was me. I blamed him so much I started to believe it myself!

Quote:

Originally posted by pokitetrash Quote: Originally posted by BeamerBob to find Means of making a Perfume of our Wind than of our Water. Wiser words might never have been spoken. ....Bobby knows of which he speaks....I stayed in the same room with him at JIBE. He doesn't need an inflat-o-matic on low wind days with his Arcs! ....Ok. Maybe it was me. I blamed him so much I started to believe it myself!

SEE! You've created your own convenient reality. At least you didn't hear yourself snoring so you couldn't blame that on me too. Miss you man!

Quote:

...while he that has lived for some Time on Vegetables only, shall have that Breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate Noses; and if he can manage so as to avoid the Report, he may any where give Vent to his Griefs, unnoticed...

Been a vegan for just over a year. Time to test this theory...

Quote:

Originally posted by flyguy0101 Come on guys- 30 views and no comments........ I dont understand.... here is a little excerpt- what do you think he is talking about? """"""""Permit me then humbly to propose one of that sort for your consideration, . That we already have some Knowledge of Means capable of Varying that Smell. He that dines on stale Flesh, especially with much Addition of Onions, shall be able to afford a Stink that no Company can tolerate"""""""""

you dont think they had a White Castle back then do you... :singing::singing::moon::moon:

Quote:

Originally posted by bigkahuna Been a vegan for just over a year. Time to test this theory...

You've been a vegan for a full year and you don't know the quality of your "fetid air"? Sounds like you need to try the old "pull the sheets over your partners head"

Get's 'em every time !!!

Rather amusing read. Thanks for sharing!

thanks, that was a gas!

I guess nobody has yet discovered this illustrious prize to turn our gas into perfume. haha

Halfway thru I got laughing and could'nt answer the phone at work , god I hope they cant track internet time!

sounds like ol' ben may have been "anal" retentive........lol:moon: