so im just gonna make it a basic question...

what is a spreader bar, and how is it related to handles/a control bar.

Spreader bar is connected to the front of a harness..it's basically a bar with a hook on it. If you look up kite harnesses on ebay or even do a regular search..you'll see some pictures of them with the harness.

Kiters sometimes put a "strop" attachment onto their handles / bar with static kites and this is then hooked in to the hook on the spreader bar taking some of the load off of the persons arms and spreading it throughout their body through the harness. You can read more about strops on some of the other threads.
Basic definition of strop... a strop is just a piece of rope basically going from one handle to another or looping on the bar

On depowerable kites there is a chicken loop attached to a line that runs thru the control bar. This loop is hooked to the spreader bar to allow the kiter to sheet the kite in and sheet out to adjust for power and depower of the kite. You can also read more about depower through other threads.

Basically, when you here the phrase hooked in and un hooked you'll understand what those mean now. Being hooked in tends to place a danger on you moreso then not being hooked in because you're attaching yourself to the kite (one more step to do to free yourself from an out of control kite).
This is why a lot of us feel that until you can control a kite and realize how to perform alternative means of saving yourself and a kite in a bad situation, that you should not hook yourself into a kite. With more experience it's a great way to allow your kiting sessions to last longer and not rip your arms up too much (your arms still get a work out though).

Hope this helps some,
Joe

ps. how is the kiting going? have you been out to fly anymore?

well the wind has died a bit for the past two days but it was going really well....also i just made a pair of doom wheels. (and if i do say so myself, they're pretty good)

One other important thing about a spreader bar is that is distributes the pull out toward your hips. If you just had a hook without the spreader, it would pull your harness in on your hips, making it very uncomfortable. I have heard of people doing tethered flying, and collapsing a spreader, breaking their hips. These are extreme situations, and under normal un-tethered conditions I have never heard of this.

Scoop