A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience.

She mounts the horse, unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into action. As it gallops along at its steady and rhythmic pace, the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but despite her best efforts, slides down the horse's flanks.

The horse continues to gallop along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap away from the horse and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.
She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground time and time again.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune, Frank, the Walmart Greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse .


What can I say... it's a slow day at work.

So a WWII vet steps out of the VA after his annual physical, cane in hand and dragging his war injured left foot. Step-drag... step-drag... he considers his life story and the difficulties he has endured since so many years had passed...

step-drag... step-drag... while reminiscing these difficulties, he is thankful for being given the opportunity to have served his country and sacrificed, and given of himself in his service...

step-drag... step-drag... as he ambles down the sidewalk he looks up, and across the street there is another man close to his own age, cane in hand and dragging is right foot...

step-drag... step-drag... the vet, seeing the other man begins to feel some camaraderie with him in their similar plight... as the other unaware, does the same movement, step-drag... step-drag...

step-drag... step drag... he begins to remember and consider the time, date and circumstances of his injury, all the while looking across the way at his comrade and feeling more and more close to him in spite of not ever knowing him... as the other unaware does the same movement, step-drag... step-drag...

step-drag... step-drag... the vet pauses, looking to his comrade and wanting to compare notes, he shouts to him "HEY THERE, PARTNER..." pointing to his injured foot "BATTLE OF THE BULGE,... 1944... YOU?"

The man on the other side of the street stopped, realizing the vet was talking to him, looks up and responds "OH... YEAH?... I JUST STEPPED IN A DOG TURD ABOUT 3 BLOCKS DOWN..."

I just have too much time on my hands.

A slow week for kiters

Two walking through the woods and come across a clearing.
"OH!!! look at the Bear tracks!!!"
"No those are Deer Tracks"
"I'm sure they are bear tracks.."
"I 'm positive they are deer tracks"
While they were arguing, the train killed both of them...