Is it selfish to chase the wind? Join our interactive documentary
Hi everybody
My name is Fusun and I am a novice kiter from Toronto, ON.
We have launched our small, interactive documentary http://www.hobbybetweenus.com and excited to share with you! We followed avid kitesurfers and their partners in Cuba, France, Turkey and Canada
and reveal candid insights from people who struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships.
It is a participatory project and we want to hear your story to see the bigger picture together!
Snap a picture, record a video to tell us if it is important #topartnerornot with your hobby.
3 ways to participate to the documentary
. By using hashtag #topartnerornot on Twitter or Instagram
. By voting on our poll http://hobbybetweenus.com/#Poll
. You're not on social media, NP, just send your story to mystory@hobbybetweenus.com with your media. We'll post it for you. (Please consider of
Twitter/Instagram limitations)
If you like the project we kindly ask you to like/share or tweet about it.
its only selfish if the individual is narcissistic, perhaps the same for those who consider it so.
its an avocation to pass the time with or without a partner, if they respect your choices, as you do theirs, what it is you chase is not that
important as long as it is not destructive and careless.. like cocaine and sport banaging depressed narcissitic women or scads of other defiling
behaviors like war and hateful acts.
...maybe chasing your partner TOO much may require a suitable avocation for healthy balance...ask any animal, chase is LIFE! AND DEATH!.
GIVE A GOOD CHASE! it will only help the rest of your life and relationships!
my wife just invited me to yoga on the beach in the morning ....(she knows i'm not a yogi), but considering the aspect of yoga as a spectator
sport??? chase worthy!!!
can i work that into the docupsychoseries thing, seems fitting
Seriously guys, this is good stuff.
I've been hooked into this sport/hobby, in one version or another, since 1989, and there have certainly been times that my better half has been upset
that I'm chasing the wind instead of... you name it:
house work
completing contract work
shopping
looking after kids
even going to work.
It started as a shared sport - we used to fly sport deltas together in our West Coast days (at Garry Point, before the advent of the buggy). Then she
found stamping, and I kept flying. Eventually, I taught our kids to fly - some of you have met Josh.
Since she's been to WBB I think she now appreciates the camaraderie aspect of the 'Bashes and has a better appreciation for my love of being there.
(While I've been typing I sent her a link to the video. Her reply: You fly, I shoot the pictures.)
Besides, Fusun and crew are "local" to me - even if they are on the water It's
nice to see my hometown represented. (That's the buildings, not the palm trees.)
Fusun, thank you for creating this.
Go ahead... tell me to "go fly a kite!" Please!
Howard - used to be KC67
Fly: A quiver of Lynx' and Cores (did someone say "Pansh"?), a couple o' Arcs, and a Rev to remind me about control
Ride: PL XR+
Where: 43.857899, -78.941661 and 38.970951, -74.828922
@ssayre
sorry that's me in the pic. i guess i am scary :P
This is my first thread here so I thought it would be a good idea to sign-up as a real person.
A participator from Australia says"
" for something to be defined as selfish it would have to have a negative impact on others or to ignore awareness to existing system does going
windsurfing have a negative impact on environment does one enjoying windsurfing have a negative impact on others in your life??? if one feels
empowered, uplifted from sailing and that heightened spirit uplifts others in your life, or elevates you personally, which results in you bringing
more to the table in your relationships, empowering others, then it can't be defined as selfish within saying that, nobody sails for the direct
benefit of others"
Great insights and thoughts, guys
PLEASE PLEASE participate to documentary
3 ways to participate to the documentary
. By using hashtag #topartnerornot on Twitter or Instagram
. By voting on our poll http://hobbybetweenus.com/#Poll
. You're not on social media, NP, just send your story to mystory@hobbybetweenus.com with your media. We'll post it for you. (Please consider of
Twitter/Instagram limitations)
Welcome to PKF! Nice to have you on board. I did just link to your poll and somewhat reluctantly selected nightmare. It wasn't quite right because
in truth I know better than to try and bring my bride into this little wind world of ours. She doesn't share my OCD personality trait when it comes
to hobbies, and just doesn't care to focus on all the esoteric information necessary to finesse a kite, drive a buggy, fly on top of and above water
or snow, etc. So I guess I would have liked an option "knew better than to try". Gotta say, I have a hard time thinking 3/4 of these introductions
were successful, but then I don't know the sample size or the selection bias involved.
No matter, great to have you on board! I dig your trains of thought already. Steve.
This is a topic somewhat close to me as I have been working to find a balance between the needs of my family and flying/buggying. One thing that i
have figured out is that its not so much the sport/hobby that gets in-between my wife and family and myself as it is my extreme lack of perspective.
Quite frankly its hard to have ANY real perspective on ANYTHING when your head is stuck so far up your own @ss.
After I was injured kiting, I nearly quit the game and my wife encouraged me not to, much to my surprise. She knew how much I enjoyed it and it took
some time for me to realize that it wasn't about kites or buggies,... it was about an improper focus paired with its partner of improper
prioritization. I had gotten SO self focused that all I could see was when, where and how anything was going to effect MY time to do MY thing. My
priorities had become completely focused on what I wanted rather than what my wife and kids NEEDED, which was really only my time and attention. My
self focus had me so driven that I spent whatever free time I was allowed to doing my thing, leading me to rushing and unsafe practices. The ultimate
consequence was a lot of pain, money, and 5 months watching my wife singlehandedly care for all 4 of our kids and take care of me with an absolute
minimum amount of help from me (which was all I was capable of).
I have to fight hard against my self focus and motivation and I still lose touch sometimes, but thankfully I'm changing and I'm told its visible.
Seriously ????
If I wanted to reveal my candid insights about my struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships I will go to confession or talk
to friend/ relatives and not post it on some unknown site for the rest of the world to see and read.
HQ Apha V 1.5
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A participator from Australia says"
" for something to be defined as selfish it would have to have a negative impact on others or to ignore awareness to existing system does going
windsurfing have a negative impact on environment does one enjoying windsurfing have a negative impact on others in your life??? if one feels
empowered, uplifted from sailing and that heightened spirit uplifts others in your life, or elevates you personally, which results in you bringing
more to the table in your relationships, empowering others, then it can't be defined as selfish within saying that, nobody sails for the direct
benefit of others"
its only selfish if the individual is narcissistic, perhaps the same for those who consider it so.
its an avocation to pass the time with or without a partner, if they respect your choices, as you do theirs, what it is you chase is not that
important as long as it is not destructive and careless.. like cocaine and sport banaging depressed narcissitic women or scads of other defiling
behaviors like war and hateful acts.
...maybe chasing your partner TOO much may require a suitable avocation for healthy balance...ask any animal, chase is LIFE! AND DEATH!.
GIVE A GOOD CHASE! it will only help the rest of your life and relationships!
though it is written not spoken , i went with "sounds " for your continuity comfort
Spenser - hardly a sermon. In fact I was touched by your prose.
I suspect a good number of us are "deep down the rabbit hole" as I like to say - I know I am - and this balance is hard. Balance, balance, balance,
focus, focus, focus. Certain personality traits seem to flare up in settings such as these. For me it is an OCD like thing. In ski country, like
where I live, there is a old saying: "there are no friends on powder days". Here I guess we could say "there are no friends on windy days!"
I'm glad you came out of the other side of your injury Spencer with your body in one piece, your bride supportive of your personal passions, and what
sounds like a better balance in life. I bet those that love you find you a better person to be around now than before.
OK, now I'm rambling !:o Back to our regularly scheduled program - I've got two NASA Star 3's on order (2.5 & 8.5) - can't wait!!!
Seriously ????
If I wanted to reveal my candid insights about my struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships I will go to confession or talk
to friend/ relatives and not post it on some unknown site for the rest of the world to see and read.
indeed true, personal it is and personal it needs to remain.
sharing typically complicates things....the opinions come in distort the struggle even more. totally agree
"passionate pursuit" may have been better choice than dragging a relationship into things , indeed personal on both points
Sure I respect your thoughts.
Our main goal is to start a conversation about the dilemma mentioned in the doc, create a platform for people to share their own experiences and
encourage them to understand better each other while discussing self growth, how to deal with the routine, what makes us happy in life.
We realize that this is a common issue everywhere around the world and we would like to reach as many people as possible.
Russian participator says
" As I'm sure others in your study have pointed out, it all changes a bit when you have kids. (And I'm aware that to kiters without kids you hate to
hear people say things which sound like, "you don't understand, man, you don't have children..."), but here it goes.
When you are a couple it is easy to partition your time together and your time apart. You both need time for your own hobbies and as long as you don't
go overboard, and there is an understanding there you are going to miss her aunt's 70th birthday party if it's blowing, there is plenty of time for
kiting. Once you have kids though...the pressure amps up, in at least two facets.
First, if you are out kiting, it means she is watching the kids. You pass on that responsibility, welcomed or not, because you can't responsibly care
for young children from the water. Second, it's time you are not spending with your children. It's a trade-off. You weigh it, balance it, hope it
comes out fair for everyone, but it never can. You can't split your limited free time that many ways, specially when wind is such a fickle beast to
plan around.
Last weekend was one of the first times I went to the beach with another kite friend, both our kids, and we took turns kiting while the other watched
the kids. It was great! Wives were happy whereever they were, kids had a blast, and the dads got to kite. We didn't kite as much as we would have
otherwise, but it was perfect."
Seriously ????
If I wanted to reveal my candid insights about my struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships I will go to confession or talk
to friend/ relatives and not post it on some unknown site for the rest of the world to see and read.
indeed true, personal it is and personal it needs to remain.
sharing typically complicates things....the opinions come in distort the struggle even more. totally agree
"passionate pursuit" may have been better choice than dragging a relationship into things , indeed personal on both points
The value of discussing these sorts of things is much the same as if one of us were asking how to deal with something in flying, i.e. the best way to
carry out a dead man's turn while buggying or some other maneuver. Several of us have experienced it and know how to carry it through and can advise
others who may be trying to figure it out. Thats the value of this community. This is NO different. Its just not about flying, its about removing
one's head from being deeply imbedded in their posterior. Its an uncomfortable position that we all have a tendency to get into and can be remedied
without broken extremities, thousands of dollars of surgery, and months of recovery. It's very simple to start... its harder to maintain.
The problem we most frequently experience when trying to sort out problems is that we are either convinced by outside forces or by our own selves that
we are the ONLY one dealing with that issue,... fortunate for us all that is simply not true.
Its very simple just take your head out of your....... well you know.
@dangerdan
woww you are a quite delusional individual. I have signed here with my real name and real picture, not hidden behind a nickname like you. If you had
looked to the credit section of the project you would have seen that this project has been supported by quite a bit forums like this one. This is a
serious project that is aimed to learn from each other.
You sound like you have real personal issues. I wish you the best on your journey.
As far as this weird topic is concerned, I couldn't agree more with dangerdan and I haven't googled anything yet. I thought this would get reported
as spam within minutes. Discussions are most beneficial carried out here and not surveyed elsewhere.
it not the regular spam....more like hogs head cheese, its custom, hand ground and seasoned to blow your mind... and the blown bits is the content
the souse meat sister wants.
As far as this weird topic is concerned, I couldn't agree more with dangerdan and I haven't googled anything yet. I thought this would get reported
as spam within minutes. Discussions are most beneficial carried out here and not surveyed elsewhere.
I don't necessarily agree. She is a kite surfer who is a film maker. From the best of my understanding, her project involves getting stories and info
from people who are passionate about their pastimes. Her's just so happens to be the same as ours. This may be more than coincidence in so much as the
fact that I notice that we, as kiters (and primarily as men), have a tendency to throw ourselves headlong into our sport to the sacrifice of almost
everything else in our lives... how often do we warn other people about how "addictive" it is? Have your wife hide your credit cards and take your
wallet...
I would venture to guess that more of us deal with this issue than we are willing to admit. What have you sacrificed that you may not be willing to
admit to in the name of kiting? I personally can remember spending an entire day away from my family (following tears from my oldest at the idea of my
absence) to do side work for a friend, then spending ALL of the earnings on a new kite. The ironic part here too is that as I sat typing this, my kids
were asking me when I was going to fix their breakfast and I told them to wait till I finished typing this… REALLY?
Is the fact that you may be unwilling to admit to it or discuss it an indicator that maybe it actually IS a problem? How often do your loved ones roll
their eyes or get frustrated at the mention of kiting? How often do you avoid discussing it or sharing about kiting because of that? If you take the
time to answer the questions HONESTLY where do you find yourself?
If you feel your best avenue for discussing this is in the confessional, thats fine, go for it. Just don’t deny its a problem if it actually is… That
won’t help you. But don’t deny either the need for others to discuss it openly because you aren’t willing to. That won’t help the others who choose to
look for it. And don’t question the character of someone if they ask you questions that you aren’t willing to answer. (my google search turned up
nothing interesting in that arena FYI).
I was trying to be tongue in cheek above, but it has really been a serious issue for my wife and me. The impact of my kiting injury was and still is
one which was truly large; physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially … and it is still a sensitive subject to this day. I still struggle with
putting my own WANTS too highly above the NEEDS of my family. Truth be told, for me it's NOT the kiting (as I said above); THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON’T
MISS IT.... its a sort of global narcissism that had me completely engulfed in what I wanted to do on all accounts, rather than seeing what was
happening all around me. All of which was exacerbated and emphasized by kiting. One of the reason’s I almost quit.
I feel strongly that this is worth discussing because on a higher level than "how to’s" and "kite reviews,” because it is a matter of fitting the kite
piece of the puzzle into our lives without sacrificing the needs of the world at large (primarily our loved ones). I know a lot of people are not
effected by this issue and thats awesome, but to those who do find themselves here I hope this helps. Like I said above, we often have a habit of
believing that we are the only people in the world dealing with what we are dealing with and if you believe that lie then here is the answer to that.
I spent the latter portion of my tenure on this earth with my head up my own backside and I finally came out and caught some fresh air… it’s nice out
here so come join me.
I say all of this because I think the initial post as well as the conversation that follows is more than valid and a worthwhile kite related
discussion not worthy of the label of SPAM.
Howard - used to be KC67
Fly: A quiver of Lynx' and Cores (did someone say "Pansh"?), a couple o' Arcs, and a Rev to remind me about control
Ride: PL XR+
Where: 43.857899, -78.941661 and 38.970951, -74.828922
I shouldn't have said weird topic. Time management and risk assessment as it relates to kiting are good discussions to have. I just think discussing
it on the forums is the place to do it and not be put in survey form for a first time poster. I did a brief search and I seriously doubt she even
owns a kite. The pictures are just stock photos. I think her hobby is social media and documentary and not kiting. Could be wrong. Just my
opinion. Her objectives may be innocent but I'd rather have discussions on this topic with people that have earned a little more street cred on here
Spencer - as I'm beginning to learn over these past weeks, you and I are quite aligned in a number of ways. Kiting is certainly my latest, but by no
means first obsession. I was a ski racer through college and many more times than I cared to admit as a younger man, I was a pain in the seat meat to
be around. Prioritizing training over socializing, spending hours thinking about the flex and side cut of different types of skis for different
conditions, waxes, weather, etc. Swap those out for thinking about different kite material, single skins, DP vs FB, wind, etc. SSDD.
It is great if many people on PKF are able to elegantly balance these things and our non-hobby life. I'm with Spencer, this is a tough balance for me
too.
Let's kindly let fasun have her day, her days, her years on PKF just like the rest of us. I watched her documentary about kiteboarding and the love
triangles and I think she is legit. Not how I personally choose to fill my days, but I for one am glad she has the passion in life to look at
something like this in the depth that she has. Our shared passion for wind sports remain our common thread; how we choose to express this passion is
as unique as each of us.
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