Is it selfish to chase the wind? Join our interactive documentary

Hi everybody
My name is Fusun and I am a novice kiter from Toronto, ON.
We have launched our small, interactive documentary http://www.hobbybetweenus.com and excited to share with you! We followed avid kitesurfers and their partners in Cuba, France, Turkey and Canada and reveal candid insights from people who struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships.
It is a participatory project and we want to hear your story to see the bigger picture together!

Snap a picture, record a video to tell us if it is important #topartnerornot with your hobby.

3 ways to participate to the documentary
. By using hashtag #topartnerornot on Twitter or Instagram
. By voting on our poll http://hobbybetweenus.com/#Poll
. You're not on social media, NP, just send your story to mystory@hobbybetweenus.com with your media. We'll post it for you. (Please consider of Twitter/Instagram limitations)

If you like the project we kindly ask you to like/share or tweet about it.

https://www.facebook.com/hobbybetweenus
https://twitter.com/hobbybetweenus

Enjoy the ride…

Fusun

PS: Let me know if you have any questions..

Quote: Originally posted by ssayre

Okay, only joking. Just referring to the serious expression.

The proper expression for eating Peek Freans......



ATB,
Sam

:D

Seriously guys, this is good stuff.
I've been hooked into this sport/hobby, in one version or another, since 1989, and there have certainly been times that my better half has been upset that I'm chasing the wind instead of... you name it:
house work
completing contract work
shopping
looking after kids
even going to work.

It started as a shared sport - we used to fly sport deltas together in our West Coast days (at Garry Point, before the advent of the buggy). Then she found stamping, and I kept flying. Eventually, I taught our kids to fly - some of you have met Josh.
Since she's been to WBB I think she now appreciates the camaraderie aspect of the 'Bashes and has a better appreciation for my love of being there.

(While I've been typing I sent her a link to the video. Her reply: You fly, I shoot the pictures.)

Besides, Fusun and crew are "local" to me - even if they are on the water It's nice to see my hometown represented. (That's the buildings, not the palm trees.)

Fusun, thank you for creating this.

Welcome to PKF! Nice to have you on board. I did just link to your poll and somewhat reluctantly selected nightmare. It wasn't quite right because in truth I know better than to try and bring my bride into this little wind world of ours. She doesn't share my OCD personality trait when it comes to hobbies, and just doesn't care to focus on all the esoteric information necessary to finesse a kite, drive a buggy, fly on top of and above water or snow, etc. So I guess I would have liked an option "knew better than to try". Gotta say, I have a hard time thinking 3/4 of these introductions were successful, but then I don't know the sample size or the selection bias involved.

No matter, great to have you on board! I dig your trains of thought already. Steve.

Quote: Originally posted by fusun

A participator from Australia says" " for something to be defined as selfish it would have to have a negative impact on others or to ignore awareness to existing system does going windsurfing have a negative impact on environment does one enjoying windsurfing have a negative impact on others in your life??? if one feels empowered, uplifted from sailing and that heightened spirit uplifts others in your life, or elevates you personally, which results in you bringing more to the table in your relationships, empowering others, then it can't be defined as selfish within saying that, nobody sails for the direct benefit of others"

sounds familiar

Quote: Originally posted by PHREERIDER

its only selfish if the individual is narcissistic, perhaps the same for those who consider it so. its an avocation to pass the time with or without a partner, if they respect your choices, as you do theirs, what it is you chase is not that important as long as it is not destructive and careless.. like cocaine and sport banaging depressed narcissitic women or scads of other defiling behaviors like war and hateful acts. ...maybe chasing your partner TOO much may require a suitable avocation for healthy balance...ask any animal, chase is LIFE! AND DEATH!. GIVE A GOOD CHASE! it will only help the rest of your life and relationships!

though it is written not spoken , i went with "sounds " for your continuity comfort

Spenser - hardly a sermon. In fact I was touched by your prose.

I suspect a good number of us are "deep down the rabbit hole" as I like to say - I know I am - and this balance is hard. Balance, balance, balance, focus, focus, focus. Certain personality traits seem to flare up in settings such as these. For me it is an OCD like thing. In ski country, like where I live, there is a old saying: "there are no friends on powder days". Here I guess we could say "there are no friends on windy days!"

I'm glad you came out of the other side of your injury Spencer with your body in one piece, your bride supportive of your personal passions, and what sounds like a better balance in life. I bet those that love you find you a better person to be around now than before.

OK, now I'm rambling !:o Back to our regularly scheduled program - I've got two NASA Star 3's on order (2.5 & 8.5) - can't wait!!!

@ dangerdan - Seriously ????

Quote: Originally posted by dangerdan

Seriously ???? If I wanted to reveal my candid insights about my struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships I will go to confession or talk to friend/ relatives and not post it on some unknown site for the rest of the world to see and read.

indeed true, personal it is and personal it needs to remain.
sharing typically complicates things....the opinions come in distort the struggle even more. totally agree

"passionate pursuit" may have been better choice than dragging a relationship into things , indeed personal on both points

Sure I respect your thoughts.
Our main goal is to start a conversation about the dilemma mentioned in the doc, create a platform for people to share their own experiences and encourage them to understand better each other while discussing self growth, how to deal with the routine, what makes us happy in life.
We realize that this is a common issue everywhere around the world and we would like to reach as many people as possible.


Russian participator says
" As I'm sure others in your study have pointed out, it all changes a bit when you have kids. (And I'm aware that to kiters without kids you hate to hear people say things which sound like, "you don't understand, man, you don't have children..."), but here it goes.

When you are a couple it is easy to partition your time together and your time apart. You both need time for your own hobbies and as long as you don't go overboard, and there is an understanding there you are going to miss her aunt's 70th birthday party if it's blowing, there is plenty of time for kiting. Once you have kids though...the pressure amps up, in at least two facets.

First, if you are out kiting, it means she is watching the kids. You pass on that responsibility, welcomed or not, because you can't responsibly care for young children from the water. Second, it's time you are not spending with your children. It's a trade-off. You weigh it, balance it, hope it comes out fair for everyone, but it never can. You can't split your limited free time that many ways, specially when wind is such a fickle beast to plan around.

Last weekend was one of the first times I went to the beach with another kite friend, both our kids, and we took turns kiting while the other watched the kids. It was great! Wives were happy whereever they were, kids had a blast, and the dads got to kite. We didn't kite as much as we would have otherwise, but it was perfect."

Quote: Originally posted by PHREERIDER

Quote: Originally posted by dangerdan   Seriously ???? If I wanted to reveal my candid insights about my struggle to strike a balance between their hobbies and relationships I will go to confession or talk to friend/ relatives and not post it on some unknown site for the rest of the world to see and read. indeed true, personal it is and personal it needs to remain. sharing typically complicates things....the opinions come in distort the struggle even more. totally agree "passionate pursuit" may have been better choice than dragging a relationship into things , indeed personal on both points

@dangerdan
woww you are a quite delusional individual. I have signed here with my real name and real picture, not hidden behind a nickname like you. If you had looked to the credit section of the project you would have seen that this project has been supported by quite a bit forums like this one. This is a serious project that is aimed to learn from each other.

You sound like you have real personal issues. I wish you the best on your journey.

Quote: Originally posted by ssayre

As far as this weird topic is concerned, I couldn't agree more with dangerdan and I haven't googled anything yet. I thought this would get reported as spam within minutes. Discussions are most beneficial carried out here and not surveyed elsewhere.

I don't necessarily agree. She is a kite surfer who is a film maker. From the best of my understanding, her project involves getting stories and info from people who are passionate about their pastimes. Her's just so happens to be the same as ours. This may be more than coincidence in so much as the fact that I notice that we, as kiters (and primarily as men), have a tendency to throw ourselves headlong into our sport to the sacrifice of almost everything else in our lives... how often do we warn other people about how "addictive" it is? Have your wife hide your credit cards and take your wallet...

I would venture to guess that more of us deal with this issue than we are willing to admit. What have you sacrificed that you may not be willing to admit to in the name of kiting? I personally can remember spending an entire day away from my family (following tears from my oldest at the idea of my absence) to do side work for a friend, then spending ALL of the earnings on a new kite. The ironic part here too is that as I sat typing this, my kids were asking me when I was going to fix their breakfast and I told them to wait till I finished typing this… REALLY?

Is the fact that you may be unwilling to admit to it or discuss it an indicator that maybe it actually IS a problem? How often do your loved ones roll their eyes or get frustrated at the mention of kiting? How often do you avoid discussing it or sharing about kiting because of that? If you take the time to answer the questions HONESTLY where do you find yourself?

If you feel your best avenue for discussing this is in the confessional, thats fine, go for it. Just don’t deny its a problem if it actually is… That won’t help you. But don’t deny either the need for others to discuss it openly because you aren’t willing to. That won’t help the others who choose to look for it. And don’t question the character of someone if they ask you questions that you aren’t willing to answer. (my google search turned up nothing interesting in that arena FYI).

I was trying to be tongue in cheek above, but it has really been a serious issue for my wife and me. The impact of my kiting injury was and still is one which was truly large; physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially … and it is still a sensitive subject to this day. I still struggle with putting my own WANTS too highly above the NEEDS of my family. Truth be told, for me it's NOT the kiting (as I said above); THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON’T MISS IT.... its a sort of global narcissism that had me completely engulfed in what I wanted to do on all accounts, rather than seeing what was happening all around me. All of which was exacerbated and emphasized by kiting. One of the reason’s I almost quit.

I feel strongly that this is worth discussing because on a higher level than "how to’s" and "kite reviews,” because it is a matter of fitting the kite piece of the puzzle into our lives without sacrificing the needs of the world at large (primarily our loved ones). I know a lot of people are not effected by this issue and thats awesome, but to those who do find themselves here I hope this helps. Like I said above, we often have a habit of believing that we are the only people in the world dealing with what we are dealing with and if you believe that lie then here is the answer to that. I spent the latter portion of my tenure on this earth with my head up my own backside and I finally came out and caught some fresh air… it’s nice out here so come join me.

I say all of this because I think the initial post as well as the conversation that follows is more than valid and a worthwhile kite related discussion not worthy of the label of SPAM.

I shouldn't have said weird topic. Time management and risk assessment as it relates to kiting are good discussions to have. I just think discussing it on the forums is the place to do it and not be put in survey form for a first time poster. I did a brief search and I seriously doubt she even owns a kite. The pictures are just stock photos. I think her hobby is social media and documentary and not kiting. Could be wrong. Just my opinion. Her objectives may be innocent but I'd rather have discussions on this topic with people that have earned a little more street cred on here

Quote: Originally posted by ssayre

Sure is phree. That was funny!!

perhaps we have been begiled by this siren, a sailors first phaw... eye candy looking for an affect ....oh what beautiful music they make.

virtual phun ....it is inphinite


we chase NOW and continous....... it is why we are here

I don't know if anyone remembers samurai jack, but it was a cartoon from around 10 years ago. Excellent series my son and I watched a lot.

Bear in mind, this doesn't have anything to do with this thread any longer but jut my searching for siren song

Ssayre - dang, I live inland! The Great Salt Lake may only be a 30 minute drive from me, but I fear its Sirens just won't hold a candle to these Vixen of the open ocean.

Now that was funny!!!

Lol u guys are unbeliveable.
Driving back to the city. Will post more when i get back

Opening up with a relationship survey to a group of mainly middle aged dudes is kind of a tough sell. Really nothing specific about kiting that applies to the topic. There's lots of weather dependent hobbies. We'd like to hear about your kiting adventures though.

Totally agree we are unbelievable